There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
