Every concussion has its silver lining
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
