I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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