Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
