yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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