Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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