yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
