In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
