it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
