Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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