She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I lost the right to judge tonight
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize