He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
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