It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
