dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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