Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
