would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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