After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
