Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
In America we eat man semen.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
