I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
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