WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
