Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Is it because I queefed?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
