Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
