I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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