Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Randomize
