I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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