My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
it was like his penis was on wheels.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
