I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
