i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I can tuck mytits in my pants
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
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