I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
