the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
