I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
