Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
