I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
