I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
