imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
