The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
