When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
