I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
