Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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