I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
