I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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