After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
