At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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