We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
...so i touched it.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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