dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
and you said cock pushups were impossible
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
