Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
