Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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