yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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