So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
my liver is dry heaving
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
