It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
