I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
